in another life
by anvarah
Summary: prowl mourns Jazz's death.


Title: In Another Life  
By: Anvarah

Summary: Prowl mourns Jazz's death.

**Disclaimer:** don't own Transformers.

I couldn't believe my audios or optics; and yet, Optimus wouldn't lie about something like this. Not ever; he isn't that sort of mech. I vent in distress and try to stop my optics from leaking; those words my commander said had broken my spark. They had ripped away the only thing I had left – the one thing I fought for: the one thing I couldn't survive without.

Gone.

I couldn't even remember the trip to the base; vivid memory fluxes danced before my optics the entire time.

I remember shopping at the Praxus market place; and you bumped into me. I remember feeling flustered and blushing when you smiled at me; asking my designation. Giving your own, before handing over a data-slip* with your comm-number on it; whispering "Call me, Cutie" in my audio receptor.

I ran all the way home after you left, it took me three joors to gather the courage to call you; we were only on the comm-link for a quarter breem before you suggested meeting up the next solar cycle. I was shaking as I said 'yes' you know? Once we had the details for our meeting and you said goodbye I panicked. I wanted you to like me, because I liked you.

My carrier eventually found me hidden in the closet; after hearing why I was so upset, she wrapped me in a hug and steered me into her and sire's berth room for a paint touch-up and wax. She waved me off the next solar cycle as I went to meet you. Standing in the crowd shifting nervously; I began to regret coming, but the fear and anxiety melted away when I saw your optics shining as you came towards me; pushing through the crowd - with that smile I loved from the moment I first saw you.

That first date; we managed to 'sneak' into your brothers' club and sang along to the music as we danced. Joors later you walked me back to my family housing unit and before departing, you briefly pressed your lip components against my cheek plating in farewell. I stared as I watched you leave, my spark thrumming in my chasis when you turned and grinned before you disappeared around that last corner.

Two cycles later we had our second date and we became inseparable.

We became a couple.

Ironhide's servo on my shoulder brings me back from my thoughts and he murmurs his condolences in my audio receiver, before turning towards his own quarters. Leaving me to follow Ratchet to the Medbay for the standard checks he insisted on upon after the initial greeting at my landing site. A 'tear' as the humans refer to it as; slips out of my optic and slides down my face plates as my thoughts return to the past we share.

::_Flashback::_

We sit up on top of your family's housing unit; sipping on the high-grade we 'borrowed' from your creator's stash. Glad that we had finally finished the academy and graduated. Planning our futures as a couple on that roof top was simple: we'd stay together - because that's where we belonged.

I was so naïve and young, but most of all: I was in love. I never thought this war would come, but it did; and although we both joined the Autobot faction we were eventually torn apart.

The Medbay doors loom in front of me as I finally reached the destination that Ratchet had intended. I'm hoping this is all just a nightmare or a trick, and you'll jump out from behind a door, a happy smile on your face: the one you only save for me; and a twinkle in your optics. But the halls are empty and dark; you're not here.

I feel so stupid, so useless. I had planned to ask you to bond with me the night before you left; but my desk had piles of datapads stacked on it. I worked on them all afternoon and I fell asleep in my office. I didn't come back to our room that night; and by the time I woke up the next solar cycle you had already left. I thought I'd join you soon; and I could ask you then.

Little did I know; all I would have left of you when I landed would be the memories we shared.

Ratchet leads me to your body; you look so peaceful; as if this war never touched you.

I wish it never had: we could've had so much, but it's gone: swept away with Cybertron.  
I sink to my knees and cry; I want you here, I want you by my side.

I want what this war took from me.

Jazz, My lover: who is gone.

**A/N: a data slip is kinda like a piece of scrap paper for bots to write their comm info on. (in other words : Jazz gave Prowl his phone number) :D**

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**Let me know what you think (and if it made you cry).**

**Thanks. **


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